Single..its the mingling thats troublesome

Being in your late twenties and uttering the words,

“I am single”

attracts a tumultuous volley of questions. The usual mindless cliché questions go like –

“Babe, don’t tell me you can’t find one guy. What about work or church?”

“I think you should make the first move. Don’t wait for the guy. This is the 21st century.”

“Are you doing your bit? Dress up ya. Some nice mascara drama. You should lure the guy.”

“Why can’t you go talk to the guy? It’s because you ain’t doing anything.”

There is never a dearth of advice – good, bad, ugly. It’s everywhere, given by everyone and it’s free. I feel advice should be charged to keep sanity alive for the person who is getting the free load.

My usual truthful thread of replies –

“Seriously, I can’t find anyone. No one. Everyone who is nice is already taken or gay.”

“It’s not that I am single due to an oath or a cult group. I haven’t met anyone.”

“Please, it’s just a crush. One way Love Street. I can assure you that.”

“If the guy is interested, he would come and talk.”

Few months back, I had a round table conference with another single friend on our current status. Trust me; there are very few people with whom you can have a sensible and sagacious conversation on single hood. We wanted to decipher why women like us – enterprising, well read and spoken, heavy interest in politics and foreign affairs, peaceful and affordable attitude and personality, practical, non-pseudo, intelligent, normal looking (we wouldn’t have made the cut for playing ET), spontaneous, credible amount of spunk, fun loving, mildly aggressive for the right reasons, active cognitive processes, inexpensive ego cradling, tolerant, loves simplicity and is garnished hmmm more like dipped with sarcasm would be single. PS I love cricket too. We had no history of violence or earth shattering crisis.

At the end of the discussion we reached a conclusion that men can’t handle women like us. Seriously, I ain’t on an ego trip it’s the truth.

More than a majority of the opposite sex often reads –
Enterprising – ability to choose/ experiment a new, fancy and delicious drink every time we go out
Well Read – read Cosmopolitan to check out the love-o-meter guide
Well spoken – ability to make aww so cute cuddle conversation sprinkled with self indulgent Ego tripping
Politics – office politics and thesis on Bruni and Jolie
Attitude – Anyone from Sex and the City
Personality – should alternate on clues/ change with social circumstances and surrounding people
Practical – weekends spent in the claws of venture capitalists as Fuga, F Bar, Blue Bar and the likes
Non-Pseudo – signing up to receive updates from Green Peace
Intelligent – has the perfect little black dress/ shoes and accessories
Spontaneous – pub/club hopping
Spunk – throws up and still asks for another drink

There is a dearth. Dearth of men, though riding high on the wave of globalization haven’t surrendered their grey cells. Dearth of men who haven’t forgotten that spontaneous means impulsive thinking, the way to charm a lady through conversations of politics, attitude means to be yourself, fashion doesn’t mean F TV but to understand textiles, texture and the art of design, practical also means not to be engulfed by venture capitalists every weekends.

I read this on twitter few days ago and it sums up –

For every idiot there is an equal and opposite gender idiot. Singles are people with incomparable intelligence.

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    • delhizen
    • December 4th, 2009

    Can’t stop laughing after reading thi post.. this is a phenomena across India.. hehe!

    • 🙂 Naaahiiii!!! please tell me this ain’t a phenomena. There are men in their late twenties who are untouched by this wave of uber coolness and aren’t lost in pseudo translation. I think I should capitalize on this phenomenon!

      DreamWorks in association with Big Pictures brings you a holiday treat for the heart –

      This holiday season; join Tina on her epic journey into matters of the heart as she waits under the mistletoe to find the one. The one enterprising, well read and spoken, heavy interest in politics and foreign affairs, peaceful and affordable attitude and personality, practical, non-pseudo, intelligent, normal looking, spontaneous, credible amount of spunk, fun loving, mildly aggressive for the right reasons, active cognitive processes, inexpensive ego cradling, tolerant, loves simplicity guy!

      I swear it won’t sound so cheesy, if that guy (don’t know his name but he does all the voice overs for chick flick trailers in Hollywood) he does the voice over with appropriate visuals.

    • delhizen
    • December 4th, 2009

    let me know if the misletoe magic works 🙂

    • Jingle
    • December 5th, 2009

    single, single, tingle, sound similar.

    Welcome to join me at

    http://www.jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com

    hope that you find what you want all the way!

  1. Hahahaah. Hilarious stuff you’ve got here. Damn men, for stereotyping us with Cosmo. Intelligent and sensible ladies have really become a rare sight these days, I am glad you exist 🙂

    Blogstrolled from somewhere, forgot where! 😀

    Cheers,

    Anu

    • Hey Anu,
      Great to know you had a good laugh. Yep, Cosmo really does some amt of damage to the image of a women. I mean I am in for sexy, uber cool, fun, loving women but not at the cost of them sounding like total idots, unaware of everything. They have to have the grey cell inside their ticking as well. Certain amount of sexiness oozes from normal intelligent/smart conversation than a pee kaa boo celavage!

  2. OMG enjoyed reading your post. I added your feed to my google reader.

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