Being on a ‘short’ vacation for over two months is a dream come true. Not necessarily so if you are vacating in your own home. It’s highly appropriate to re-christen Kerala as “The Land of Social Obligations for Faltoo Events.” Trust me; this does not come remotely close to those riveting lands mentioned in ‘The Faraway Trees’ by Blyton.

The Land of Social Obligations for Faltoo Events is alive and will never see its end. Thanks to many pseudo, mostly unemployed, rich, talkative, distant, not so distant, relatives and some friends for creating an opportunity to highlight their life, how well it is going, their celebrations, everything about them. Why must I go? I cannot find an answer as to why I must attend some birthday ritual, traced three generations before me. Aagrrrhhh falls too short of an emotion in this case. The above event is utterly Faltoo. Translated as unimportant. Total time wasting tactics.

I respect and value family ties. Some created since birth. Some you create. Some gain value through the years. Some you genuinely care and take care. Some you don’t mind despite its existence. Some have an enormous value for your parents. Some didn’t make any difference in your 27 years of living and so why bother. The ‘faltooness’ of an event is directly proportionate to how close you are to the family. First, second and even third generation events are validated at least by blood. The sub category of these generations like my grandma’s father’s brother’s son’s in-law’s blah blah and more which fall under Faltoo events.

Faltoo events echo the sentiment, “If we don’t go for their function, they won’t come for ours.” I fail to understand the logic. Zoom to my impending wedding day. At the church, we have no guests. Direct cause and effect theory. No one shows up cause we didn’t attend their faltoo events. Then what. Do we stop the wedding cause there are no guests? Please! I will tie the knot and freeze the leftovers.

In short, nothing can stop the Faltoo events. They are woven into the complex and mind boggling social fabric of Kerala society. Faltoo events exist  for no rhyme or reason but for general time pass and gossip. By the way, I didn’t go for the Faltoo event. I escaped this one, aint so sure about the next one.


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